Free as a Bird

To say the least I am full of contradiction!! But one thing is for sure, I am fucked up in my head... The dream prince I had imagined in my head doesn't exist, and even if he did, he wouldn't be interested in me :-( And then there is that need for independance and freedom. Not in terms of being faithfull, but being able to think what I want, live on the edge and be different. Every man I love seems to stand in my way, seems to amputate my creativity. I am a lioness, and noone was able to tie me down (yet). So why is it that I still believe someone one day will succeed? Fairy tales aren't true. Mila shall be my only child... and since she has my character, I shall die alone :-(

- cleansing of the body: check

- cleansing of the mind: I should get a schrink ;-)

Living Apart Together

Since my separation with my husband 4 years ago, I have only been into casual relationships. I think that I am ready again to invest in a relationship, however I am not keen to let anyone touch the pillars in my new life. Since my husband left me for another woman, I have bought a loft, converted it into a home for my 6 year old daughter Mila and myself; I have been able to move up in my job quite significantly; I have great friends whom I can trust and rely on quite a bit; I have a good relationship with my parents and my sister... and I feel good. Any man today seems like a threat to the freedom and balance I have found between all of the above elements...

But I would love to love again. I have so much to give... and need to share. To discover, to discuss, to travel, to dine, to make love with someone special in my life. I also have always wanted minimum 3 children, and believe that each child deserves to have a real father. So why does the idea of a man moving into my life freaks me out so much? I am starting to believe that a L.A.T. relationship would be just right for me during this period of my life. Strangely enough, men seem not to be that keen of the idea at all! And I thought it was one of Their inventions...