How important is money?

People who know me will probably tell you that I have a hole in my hands. It seems I was born with this condition but funnily enough I have rarely in my life been dependant on anyone for money and have never really gotten myself into debts or anything like that. I have lived on the edge, but always knew when to close the tap.

I love beautiful things (I think I have told you that before) and love good food. This results in living in a beautiful loft, shopping for organic food at Delhaize, driving a coupe car, wearing Chacok and Reminiscence. At the same time though, I hate mainstream snobs, don’t feel the need for a Louis Vuitton bag, Jimmy Choo shoes, clothes by Armani or glasses from Gucci. If you catch me wearing one of these brands, it would be because I genuinely think it is a good product.

When I acquire an expensive and beautiful item I don’t like to separate from it again. I dread the idea that the shoes will wear off, the clothes will change in the washing,... I am very cautious and careful with my things. This should never be mistaken with materialism. I am not infatuated with money or objects whatsoever. I get over the loss of any of my belongings fairly quickly, unless they have particular sentimental values (like my stolen jewelry)…

I love money because it makes things possible. It can get you around the world, opens doors. Mila is a lucky girl to have parents that earn enough money to ensure the fun part in her life, as well as her education. I love to spend money on others, on the people I love. Much more satisfying than walking around shopping or filling my cupboards with useless stuff…

I always wanted to be a adventurer with nothing with a toothbrush in her suitcase…

A Series of Bad Decisions

Can ruin one’s life… I continue to refuse putting people into pre-labeled boxes. I sometimes feel the reflex to judge before knowing but always try to push this away and give the person in front of me a chance to prove me wrong. Is that so hard to understand?

Recent events have shown that many of my friends are not ready to give everyone these same chances. They continue to stigmatise people not realising that they are the first ones to be stigmatised.

Recent events have however also shown the great trust people have in me! And how many people love me… although they do not agree with my actions and decisions, they trust me to be strong enough to carry whatever weight on my shoulders and continue to support me unconditionally… for that, my dear friends and relatives, I thank you. I LOVE you all!

Life Begins at the End of your Comfort Zone

For those of you who have read me from the start, you might remember that I decided to make some radical changes and promises at the eve of last year... 6 months exactly have gone by and I wanted to update you on my life, as I seem to have quite successfully managed to turn it around for the better.

My little girl:

Mila is every day more pretty, more intelligent and easier to deal with. She has passed her grades without blinking and is now enjoying a 3-weeks holiday in Brasil. I miss her loads but I am such a proud and happy mum.

Perfect friends:

I always have and continue to have fantastic friends whom I can rely on! Recent changes in my life have changed my routine and taken lots of time away from being with them, and I would like to thank them for their patience. I hope that soon I will be managing my own routine a bit better and can start giving them more attention again. I guess you know who you are (in doubt send me a message ;-) and love you loads!!

Not so perfect family:

A part from the family that doesn't invite us anymore, I am very very grateful that I have my mum, dad and sister. Following my post in May on family I have also adopted a few new members into the family... so we have that on track!

A healthy and responsible way of living:

I have been consistently consuming less and more ethically. My cupboards are full with organic food and ecological products. I eat salads and fruit every day. I continue to share my food with my friends :-)

I swim every Sunday I can and have started wrestling on Tuesdays in Geneva (but the season is over, so I need to wait until September to start the courses again). It was the only sport I could find around where my weight might actually come in handy at some point!!

A new job:

I signed my contract at a Swiss Private Bank on June 1st. I have a great job, in a nice company and a fantastic boss. I have a great team of 5 working for me. Although the bankers in general are not my cup of tea, I seem to have found a way to adapt to them... the question remains to see if they can adapt to me too, only time can tell :-)

A new life:

As a consequence, I have started renting a place in Geneva. It's close to the station, centre Geneva and I just love it. It is nearly empty but has good vibes. I am looking forward to invite my friends here so that they can enjoy this wonderful city, between lake and mountains! This is where I live now, during the week and in between travelling. There are worst places...

A new man:

I just stumbled upon him to be honest. He is lucky to be the brother of a friend, otherwise I might have not granted him with a look :-) It does proof my theory of all times: you don't have to look for a boyfriend as it is when you need him least and don't look for him that he will find you. We are just starting off, and although age and race does set us apart (among other things), we seem to be really into each other. Affaire a suivre ;-)

So really, what does a girl like me really need to be happy? I have it all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Happy Monday! 

African Beauty

Beauty, such a subjective topic. I don't feel beautiful (I don't feel ugly neither), and I am genuinely surprised when someone makes a compliment about let's say my ankles or other body part... which makes me think: isn't it fun that we are all different and that there are all kinds of tastes around? I do think that every pot has a cover ;-) Likewise I am surprised sometimes about my girlfriend's taste in men LOL. 

But if I try to generalise and put people in categories I am very clear: I think the most pretty girls and men are to be looked for in the african community. When they are beautiful, they are VERY beautiful and often very natural and also humble, which adds to their beauty. Dark skin is soft and strong. Some tribes are more pretty then others, but many black men have a beautiful back and body structure. Black woman have beautiful waist and legs. Some of them have the almond eyes and strong cheek-bones that gives them such a proud expression.

I am tired of the images in the magasines with girls who all look the same. People whom have gone to the doctor to correct their features all end of looking the same and quite ridiculous. If you travel around the world you find the most amasing looking people on all continents, in every country, of every age!!!!... Why can't they be promoting our products, why aren't they invited to show the clothes we will ware next season?

In my family we use quite often the expression: "beautiful from far, but far from beautiful". Often it is true for a superficial, beautiful person on the outside, who becomes more and more ugly when you know her/him better... the arrogance from inside rubs off on the outside. Luckily it works the other way around too! beauty on the inside rubs off on the outside! 

This little post is for you to understand that whatever you were blessed with on the outside, learn to bring out it's best value and work on the inside for it to become even more pretty. Accept the compliments and cherish them. Live healthily, eat well and do some sports. Love your friends and treat them well... you ARE beautiful!

Wedding Speech

Beste vrienden en familie, chers amis, dear friends,

Hier sta ik dan, een beetje nerveus toch wel, op de trouw van mijn enige zusje. Ik heb haar nochtans gewaarschuwd! 2 huwelijken op 3 lopen op de klippen!

Maar als er iets is dat de Mathijskes hebben dan is het koppigheid… en passie, en houden van. Ma soeur aime Cedric. J'aime ma soeur. Donc j'aime Cedric.

Het was nochtans niet voor de hand liggend. Haar interesse voor jongens kwam in mijn ogen pas heel laat. Toen ik al een echte jonge vrouw werd (op mijn 14de), speelde Elisabeth nog met My Little Poney, of protjes-competities met haar vriendinnetjes. Ik daarentegen had mijn eerste vaste vriendje et vond mijn kleine zus belachelijk. En wanneer ik eindelijk eens weg mocht moest ik haar dan nog meesleuren ook! Van mij moest Elisabeth dan doen alsof ze er niet bij was en op het voetpad aan de andere kant van de straat lopen. Dit gezegd zijnde, ze kon wel heel erg goed mijn geld beheren!!… haha, inderdaad, haar strategie was om mij te betrappen op het kussen van een jongen bijvoorbeeld, om me dan te chanteren. Ik heb nooit de kleur van mijn zakgeld gezien!  Pfff, en mama en papa maar zeggen dat ze niet begrepen waarom Elisabeth altijd genoeg geld op zak had, terwijl ik een gat in mijn hand leek te hebben. 

Mais cette époque est bien loin. Depuis les fou-rires devant l'évier pendant le rituel du soir, beaucoup d'années se sont écoulées. Je suis plus que jamais fière de ma petite soeur. Elle a fait les choses dans l'ordre (peut-être qu'elle a appris de mes erreurs ;-)), et aujourd'hui elle franchit donc un pas de plus dans cette belle vie. Prends soin de ton homme. Souviens-toi les leçons de Bompi: ne pas être trop dure avec lui, et se rappeler que l'amour passe par le ventre (et le bas ventre) de ton chéri. Ce qui d'ailleurs m'amène à ma demande suivante:  faites beaucoup de beaux enfants!! Mila n'a pas la chance d'avoir des petits frères ou soeurs près d'elle, et attends avec impatience les petits monstres Carnoy. Cedric, prends soin d'Elisabeth. (prendre accent Africain) Si je reçois des plaintes, je sais te trouver… et j'ai beaucoup d'amis! 

Aujourd'hui, je lève mon verre à vous deux… Je serai toujours la pour vous!

(translation in English on demand)

Family

I don't have much of it… at least not family I know of or I am in contact with. People say: it's not the quantity that counts, it's the quality… but I seem to have been blessed with… Neither.

Ok, exception made of "het gezin". I have great parents, and a sister whom I love to death. Add to that my lovely daughter and I am done. 

So I have decided to extend the concept of family to my ex-inlaws in Brasil, my dad's new soulmate, my sister's future husband, my adoptive daughter Lais and my neighbors Valentine, Gregory and their kids. (If you would like to apply send me a personal message and I will organise a casting soon ;-) )

I do have real family, with related blood running through their veins. 

On my dad's side, we have alienated a long time ago. I think it had to do with the fact that they were living quite far away from us, that my dad was significantly younger then his brother and sisters and effectively fell between 2 generations. The "coup de grace" came when the small town boy moved to Africa with his family. They never understood and the distance did the rest. My dad's mum, whom I didn't meet because she had passed away shortly before I was born, never saw the sea… and she lived less then 2hours drive away from it!

My mum has a brother and a sister, both aren't married and have no children. So my sister and I are the only ones of our generation in the family. My fantastic grandmother who passed away was the last one to hold everyone together. She ruled the family and made sure we would all come together regularly to celebrate religious events, birthdays etc. Now she has gone and the family is falling apart. I regret her even more.

My dad claims that they always were like that, I am just disappointed. Spending those years in Africa made me a real family person. 

Luckily I have had the opportunity to spend a lot of time with my grandmother. I called her Bompi. It all came from a very misplaced Oedipus complex: I didn't have any grandfather growing up and desperately wanted one. So I would look for a potential man for my grandmother and address anyone who looked old to me (I probably was 5 or so at the time), asking them to marry my grandmother. Hopefully they thought I was cute.

I didn't manage to find her soul-mate ;-) so I started to call my grandmother "Bompa" which means grand father. That kind of upset her though, as she was a very proud and coquette WOMAN. So I twisted it and invented "Bompi".

I have called my grand mother Bompi for the rest of her life and other people caught on (like my sister and other relatives)… Bompi has gone, but I will remember so much of what she taught me.

She used to say to me: "don't be so tough on men… they can't help it, they need us. you have to take care of them and remember that their love goes through their stomach" (and their lower abdominal area, LOL). She would always be very proud to visit me at my place and notice that it was spotless and fit to receive friends and relatives. I would eagerly try to impress her with my cooking skills… Oh boy, I miss her!!

So here it is: a little post in memory of my beautiful, intelligent, independent and proud Bompi!

PS: Thank God for my dear Friends! On my way to Geneva.. Missing you all.

How to switch off my brain?

I am pretty sure that whomever knows me well does not qualify me as an intellectual. And I don't define myself as one neither. Nor someone who spends a lot of time thinking about specific topics. I usually abandon when it's not pragmatic and becomes abstract... after all I am a true blond ;-)

But one thing I do realise: I don't seem to be able to switch off my brain. Except maybe when I have sex (well good sex that is). Then my brain does kind of has its priorities right. The rest of the time it is just busy processing. 

I have really bad memory: short term and long term memory. I have pieces of paper everywhere and forget the most random things. I though I had a selective memory, but not really. I forget things that are important and interesting just as often as unimportant details. Hopefully that doesn't sign me up for Alzheimer's?

I do think I am smart. But that isn't the same thing as being intellectual right? My sister is a scientist, soon to be doctor, doctor. I admire that type of brain... I think I am smart because I find many people dumb (and less complicated and more spontaneous and more happy?). Am I pretentious? Hope not... I hate pretentious, arrogant, over-confident people ;-)